Physical Education
by deadelephant
Summary: Kaoru and Niwa at Judo together!


**Physical Education**

Once upon a time, during a time when it was normal for boys, pretty or plain, to love each other – once upon such a time, on a land in the far east where salmon abounded, warriors killed themselves, and boys looked like girls, there was a school. And as with all stories that began with once upon a time, there reigned a noble King and a beautiful Queen with long locks of hair. This was, however, a time distant from the ancient tales of sleeping beauties and snow white damsels, and hence, the Queen was, like the King, a male.

And today, the young King and Queen, who were still schooling (and unmarried), were having their physical education class, otherwise known as their PE lesson –

Time to stretch and work those muscles, for the King, who was bristling with a corporeal readiness – the effect of a day's worth of sedentary studying.

But what luckless trouble, thought the Queen, who, with milky slender limbs, much preferred cerebral to physical activities.

And though it was a time when boys looked like girls and loved each other, this was nonetheless no utopia – complete freedom was still merely an ideal – Kaoru therefore had to suffer these PE lessons once every week in spite of his snow white body, and today was no exception.

This was in any case to Niwa's benefit for he was now afforded with the view of the Queen in perky sports shorts from which extended two long slender legs of royal ivory. This physical admiration was hardly reciprocal however – the Queen had no eye for the King's robust muscularity, and was too busy indulging himself with those idiosyncratic Queenly gestures (an arch of the neck, atilt of the chin etc.) to express his sense of royal indignation and to represent his own lofty position way above the earthly squalor of sweat, dust and dirt.

After the class seated itself on the running track, the PE teacher, a large blundering blokish specimen of a man asked, in on of those queer drawls typical of sportsmen, "Whoo wants to plaay soccuh?"

His voice resembled noises through a loud hailer, though without those buzzing undertones and at a rather retarded pace with the vowels drawn out in a laconic fashion. In response to his question several hands were raised, nonce of which belonged to Kaoru, who was too preoccupied with the teacher's speech mannerisms – was this habitual slowness of speech indicative of an equally lethargic brain tempo? – to even toss his luscious locks to show his disdain. And though Niwa was rather fond of soccer, he, being in quest of his Queen's hand – and perhaps a few other body parts as well – decided not to join for soccer in order to spend more time with his beloved Queen.

Opting out of soccer turned out to be a rather unwise decision for Kaoru however. And it was only soon after that the teacher's voice returned –

"Oh-kaay…for the rest of youu…we will be doing…_judo_." – at which the Queen froze in royal terror.

"Throw him," blundered the teacher's voice as he gestured by turn to the King and Queen. "You," he said, indicating Niwa, throw him – that skinny Goldilocks thing" – by which he meant Kaoru. A leonine grin spread across the King's features as he took a few predatory steps forward, arms stretched outward in a posture of covetousness.

"Niwa," came the Queen's menacing warning, like a snake shifting in the undergrowth. "Don't you dare." And for a moment Niwa fancied he might actually yield. The Queen's eyes, cast like carved emerald, aside an unfaltering marmoreal nose, were blazing with a sheen of imperial anger – his eyes – he must have had some Indian heritage – were fringed with dark lashes which curled into each other when he blinked, giving them an aspect of the pernicious legs of a black widow spider. The overall effect was arresting, as if of the lapidary glare of a fearsome deity.

But he was so beautiful, thought the King, so beautiful with his tremulous eyes abd full discontented lips. And the King, allured, drew nearer.

"Niwa…"

The Queen was now retreating slowly, partly in anticipation of an attack and partly from the curious expression that had presently crept into the King's eyes.

"Kaoru!" howled the King and rushed forward impetuously to grab his Queen – "EEEEEKK!!" came the unqueenliest protest. Feeling the tight warm fleshly embrace of the King around his own body, the Queen was provoked like a horse upon sighting a snake. With a quick push Kaoru backed off sufficiently to pull Niwa's legs together with his right arm and, together with his left, raise him over his head.

"Kaoru!" howled the King again – this time out of shock instead of desire. The blokish teacher was as astonished. Being rather slow, however, he had not responded with a cry nor even any expression of surprise on his countenance. Such apparent stoicism, which in actual fact was the mundane consequence of an inactive mind had always been seen by most as a sign of an unshakeable spirit made resilient through years of being inured to physical strain.

Kaoru, as a student of Gakuen Heaven, was not so unintelligent. Having been made to suffer the indignation of attending a few minutes of PE class and the mental torture of anticipating a Niwa-attack, was now in a rather unpleasant mood. The sight of an idiotic physical instructor was enough to aggravate him – therefore, with Niwa still held over his head, he turned toward the PE teacher and hurled the King at him.

So there! thought the Queen as he rubbed his palms together with finesse, turning himself away from the mess of entangled limbs on the dirty sweat and dust of the track. And, with a queenly toss of the head, he walked on, back into the school building, to continue his life in the land where boys looked like girls and loved each other.


End file.
